Lately it seems as if everyone within driving distance of a Skyline has an opinion about Adam Dunn. Keep him, trade him, play him at first base, play him in left field, bat him third, bat him seventh, douse him in holy water and perform a ritual involving pickled pigs feet, etc. And much of the talk radio conversation over this past week has taken the rancor up to yet another level. So much so that I believe it's now safe to start officially referring to it as The Adam Dunn Dillemna . After powering on the car radio Tuesday afternoon, I heard a steady stream of well-prompted Reds fans calling in to Wow! McCallister, all of them eagerly putting in their two cents on the topic. More specifically, their two cents about exactly where Dunn should hit in the Reds lineup. Some said sixth, some said seventh, some others wanted him to hit in the two-hole, and one gentleman- who I can only presume was under the influence of a powerful heroin & absinthe cocktail- said he would prefer that The Dunner hit in the leadoff spot. Personally, I don’t care where he hits, (or shall I say, "swings".....or shall I say, "flails") but if he can’t figure out how to knock in a few of his teammates, I’d prefer it that Dunn Quixote swing at windmills while in the middle of a different team’s lineup. If a stray single here & there with a runner leading off of second is too difficult a task, or the thought of delivering a semi-deep fly ball with a runner on third is too tall of an order, then I suggest he be shipped down the river for a couple of young pitchers and a fundamentally sound minor leaguer to be named later.

I’m not going to stand here and say that Adam Dunn doesn’t have value. On the contrary, he certainly does have value, a lot of value.....to the right buyer. Despite his poor defense and enormous strikeout totals, his powerful presence and high OBP in the lineup as the DH of an already solid American League team could be extremely beneficial. But on a Reds team that’s built more for a run at the Metro Softball Tournament title than a run at the NL Central title, combined with having a tight-fisted owner and a GM who's more concerned with not exposing the likes of Jason Romano to waivers than calling up a 95-mph throwing, 2.19 ERA reliever (see: Booker, Chris), there’s just no room for a brick-gloved, 260-pound, 550-foot solo home run machine. Honestly, it’s just another freak in what is an already crowded freak show.

And pardon me for digressing a bit here, but wasn’t the whole “No Sac Flies In Over a Thousand At Bats” streak for a guy with the most lethal upper-cut since Marvin Hagler simply nothing short of astonishing? He swings at the ball each and every time intentionally aiming to put another hole in the ozone layer, and by virtue of his twenty one homers so far this season, he often accomplishes this feat. Yet, he can't seem to do it if a teammate is hanging around the vicinity of the third base bag. It's simply perplexing, and I don’t know if any of us fully realize how truly amazing this streak was. This could be likened to something like watching Jerome Bettis fall down in the backfield.....On every single third and one situation.....For a season and a half! It's like witnessing Shaq miss every dunk.....Uncontested....For a season and a half! It's like watching Tom Cruise miss an opportunity to promote Scientology, like Star Jones passing on some chocolate covered Krispy Kremes, like Donald Trump letting a chance at self-promotion slip away,...... In other words, it’s honestly almost unfathomable. Yes, un....fath....om....a....ble. What's also unfathomable is the strikeout ratio, the defensive regression, and the soon-to-be, arbitration-powered, $8+ million salary that he'll be rewarded with.

So the problem, or problems, seem to be perplexing and daunting, to say the least. But the main question becomes this; “Can Adam Dunn be fixed?” Is there anyone in the Reds stable of brilliant baseball minds who can possibly detect whether his are physical issues or mental issues, and then provide the necessary steps to fix them? If so, then Mr. O’Brien, uh, whaddya say you go ahead and get on it? If not, Mr. O’Brien, uh, whaddya say you get on the horn and dial up a contender willing to sell their souls for a few solo dingers? Whatever the answer, two things are certain: 1) With his impending year-end arbitration awaiting, the Reds literally cannot afford to wait to make a decision, and 2) They cannot afford to be wrong in their assessment of this organizationally home-grown guy. In other words, they can’t afford to fall victim to Worst Case Scenario here. And just what is the WCS here? Simply put; dealing Dunn for a couple prospects who don’t pan out while he gets tweaked into an RBI machine by his new club.

While the Austin Kearns Experiment plays out down in Louisville and the issues of what to do with the likes of Sean Casey, Joe Randa, Rich Aurilia, Kent Mercker, and Eric Milton begin to loom larger over the next few weeks, nothing, not any other single baseball decision down at GABP, is as vitally important to this club as the decision regarding what to do with Adam Dunn. And the good news Reds fans- you can rest comfortably knowing that it’s all in the extremely capable hands of “40-Man-Dan”.